Wednesday, September 29, 2010


       I'm so frustrated. I hate that I've let this slip out of my hands. I should have known that if I took a couple days off that I would give up... So, when I stopped writing, I stopped working out too. I'm so sick of being this way! I have so much on my shoulders right now and I need to stop bitching about it and make a better effort! Change the things I can and not worry about the things that I can't. I want to find success in something. It seems like I'm notorious for stop just before the big ending... just before it becomes routine.

       My depression sneaks up on me, but not this time. I'm fully aware of it's presence. I need more. More of everything. I'm stuck in this rut and at times I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and can't seem to get a grasp. It's time for me to grab that bitch by the throat and make her do what I want!
       I'm giving myself one week at a time, starting today! When next week gets here, I'll push 7 more days and keep going until I've reached what I want. I'm considering going back to school, but I'm terrified that I won't complete it. I have people that say they support me, but to be honest, I feel like most of them are just saying it. So, I need to be my own support. My own motivation. It's time to stop being co-dependent. At the end of the day, I'm the only person I can change..... Hang in there, bitches. I'll find myself somewhere in here.
On Your Mark... Get Set... Go!


  1. i totally agree. I lost my writing as well. I will have a better chance now to write, as we both know-lol. And the slow season is here, let me tell u! I am very proud of you. I have seen on your facebook that you are trying to get your fans involved like in these contests. It shows that you are really trying and I admire that. Don't give up-you have alot of talent and I know you will go far. And I am also co-dependent! I am the queen of that shit! lol. Just take it a day at a time and it will all workout. I love you. :O)

  2. I can totally sympathize - I easily fall off the writers' wagon! But that's the awesome part, it's so easy to jump right back on!

    Come on, it'll be awesome!